Momentary Relapse

Ok, so I have been living in a really inspired space and it has helped me gain the confidence I need to pull off my official "launch" of the Muse brand. I am growing as a writer, finding my groove as I wait for the proper space and time to finally complete my book. At first I would fight it when I got the urge to write about some random topic, now I trust my writing instincts and have found that these short writing projects really get me more disciplined as a writer and remind me how fun the process is as I embark on a very emotional writing project.

The Other N Word

Notice I said "proper space and time" when referring to my book. This was my "lawyer" way of saying that I am not currently writing my book, though it is #1 on my list and I have already worked it out in my mind (and notes). What I am trying to accomplish requires a huge mental and emotional commitment and I have not had the proper time or space to even try. I just continue to work out the details and trust that it will all happen in due time and I will be wiser for it.

A-Muse-N

Thankfully, the writing continues and my radio show is perfect fodder for my random (or not so random) topics. I wrote a brilliant introduction of The Muse that brought my whole journey together so well. Learning it and getting it down the way I want to present it on my show brought me back to elementary school when I used to win all the oratory contests. That is a feeling I hadn't tapped into in a very long time, very exhilirating. And the writing is excellent. I have to say that myself because I believe it, I can't wait for other people's validation to know my own truth.

I am confident that the radio station will be in full operation by the Fall, but I plan to launch my show online this Fall no matter what.

"I'm Just Confessing"

Alright, so all this greatness is happening all around and I start thinking about the logistics of everything. I thought about the costs associated with branding materials, promotion, etc. and the hustler took over the entrepreneur as I began to plant seeds in grounds that seasons past have proven infertile. In reality, I was just scared of the thought that I am entering the stage of my process where it will take considerable time and some money to make it successful and I was not comfortable relying on my current household income when there is no guarantee of payoff. Bad move for a Master Manifestor. I know it will pay off and speaking with my husband solidified that for me. After pointing out the pattern that I was falling back into (first not so nicely, then, after prodding, sensically), he came back to the fact that I have been afforded a rare opportunity not to overthink the money side and really "invest" in ME. To the extent that an opportunity outside of writing my book is in line with my overall goal or requires minimal time, go for it. Otherwise, don't! And especially not with some old bullshit that you are painting over with a keener stroke...that shit still stinks. LOL.

Anyway, I am making light of what was a real reality check for me. Hubby suggested I write out what I wanted my life to be and really go backwards from there and think of every move I make within that matrix. Great advice! I am in the process of doing this now as I prepare for the week ahead, but I am proud to say that I have come up with a baseline for myself. If a job/opportunity does not fall under these 4 titles, I will not go forward with them: Writer, Creator, Developer, Producer. If it does not come with pay, it has to be MY project. That is all for now.