T minus 7 months

June is here!

Ok, so it has been awhile since my last post, but I did begin to write one last week and the draft is way too long. I stopped myself because I began making all these commitments to myself about organization, focusing on current projects, etc. and I realized that I was getting wrapped up in the vision of it all and not doing the work. Instead I spent last week actually accomplishing some things. I have also decided what I need to accomplish during this next month so that my year end goal is met.

1. "The Other N Word"

When you "log out of the Matrix," the clarity you are able to attain is quite amazing. My decision to write a book, like all of my ideas, was an evolutionary process. When I left my firm, I made a promise to myself that I would get my business to a level where I could land my firm as a client. This was, on the one hand, a reasonable goal and, on the other hand, an irrational need to validate my creative endeavors with the type of "legitimacy" acceptable to those who were dumbfounded (read disappointed) by the fact that "I was no longer a lawyer."

After about 5 or 6 months, I finally came up with a potential proposal. I thought that I could come in as a consultant to help young associates get a clearer and more straightforward understanding of what it take to be successful at the law firm, including the need to network inside and outside the firm, navigating associate-partner relationships, debunking the myths about what it takes to be successful, etc. I had kept in contact with one of the consultants, Jeff McKinney, who came in to help with diversity issues right before I left the firm. Of all the people any corporation I'd worked for had brought in, Jeff was the only one that was truly helpful in a practical way. In fact, I used many of the tips he suggested when I started networking on behalf of what was to become Muse CAA. We were going to work together to come up with an actual sellable idea and approach and I even broached the subject with my law firm mentor who said that when I came up with something solid she would present it to the right folks at the firm.

I began thinking about how this idea would work, would I work directly with associates? In groups? One on One? Would I be able to be honest about what it takes? Would I simultaneously work with partners? Etc. The more I thought about it, the more the idea began to narrow itself and the more realistic it became, but I was not sure I could reach my intended audience with my intended message in a PC way. I also thought about the fact that I did not really want to spend my time being at a law firm when I had just escaped that environment 6 months prior. I was enjoying spending my time with non "A-type" personalities and I realized that I had uncovered something that had more (and less) universal appeal and worth.

Particularly, by going through this journey of entrepreneurialship I had uncovered the reason behind most of the shortcomings, for lack of a better term, African-Americans experience in the business world. More importantly, I have come up with a simple and straightforward way to both explain and remedy the problem. As I type this, it sounds pretty cocky, but "it is what it is."

Needless to say, I want you to read the book and find out if I am right, but for now I will say that the other N word is networking and our particular relationship to that word and the connotations and implications that come with it have, heretofore, acted as a barrier to true success. Like the "real" N word, we need to understand its historical context, assess our relationship and sensitivity to its use, and remix it so that those connotations and implications become empowering instead of disenfranchising.

In terms of my goal for the end of the year, I have decided to commit to writing every Monday since I already take no meetings and try not to have too much work to do since Mondays suck so much.

2. Muse CAA

My commitment to limit my business development efforts has been difficult to keep because after being on the scene for a year and a half, people are starting to reach out to me. My focus is to be in a position to have an official launch party at the end of the year. This means that I would have had enough successes under my belt that I will feel confident that Muse is what I say it is, all of my administrative paperwork, etc. is taken care of and I have an official business plan going into 2011.

To this end, I am organizing the next few months of my life to make this happen. I am not taking on any pro bono projects or jumping onto other people's endeavors unless it is for pay and directly related to the fulfillment of my Muse goals. I am setting realistic, but high goals for my current clients and projects and I am moving forward everyday.

3. Sheila Johnson

One of my projects is an AIDS campaign that I would love to get Sheila Johnson involved with. She recently executive produced a documentary about AIDS in DC that premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival and it is an issue near and dear to both of our hearts. DC leads the nation in HIV and AIDS cases, particularly in the black community and, therefore, we should be the leaders in fighting the epidemic.

Sheila Johnson is my "Millionaire Muse" because, first of all, she is the first black female billionaire...yes, before Oprah! She is also a great example of "The Secret" in practice. I first heard her name when I was having lunch with a partner at my firm, Bill Hall. He is a big name in sports here in DC and really on the scene. I had met him at the firm a few times, but I did not gain a relationship with him until I decided to leave the firm. I was still officially working there, but had given my notice and was in full networking mode. My mentor, Warner Session, had invited me to the Chamber of Commerce annual dinner and Bill was being honored for the major part he took in getting the Nationals Stadium built here in DC. I got up my nerve and went over to say hello to him and the next week I sent an email inviting him to lunch. I told him about what I was trying to do and he asked if I knew Sheila Johnson. I had no idea who she was, but quickly found out that she was previously married to Bob Johnson and they started BET together and she went on to be a mogul, owning the Washington Mystics, Market Salamander, investing in tons of other endeavors and just being smart and saavy. I googled her and it was over, I had found my model for mogulhood.

I told everyone I spoke to that I wanted to meet her and I even emailed her directly (bad move...but gutsy...lol). I was 1 degree of separation from her in like 20 directions. Then I started seeing her at the Mystics games and by that time I was deliberately trying not to meet her because I decided that I wanted to work with her. I wanted to be introduced with "gravitas" and not simply as someone who "loooooved" her. Because when you put something out in the universe it really does get closer to being real, it has been difficult not to meet her and since everyone knows that I admire her so much, I get calls/emails all the time about opportunities to meet her and stories about how they met her.

Anyway, having her as a Muse has changed my life and gave me confidence when meeting people who I would have previously been intimidated by. "Are you the first black female billionaire? No? Oh, ok." No one was any better or different from me since the only person who I really wanted to meet was Sheila and whoever I was in front of could not say that they were the first black woman billionaire. This really helped me be myself and confident, which is the real secret to networking.

All that is to say that I plan to have my campaign essentials completed by the end of the summer so that I can take that meeting and impress my "Millionaire Muse" if not with my idea, with the esteem that I am introduced with and my hustle and drive.

This is the next 7 months of my life in a nutshell, now back to work!

Muse: The Brand

Bohemian Chic

Evolution of the Afro

Ok, so one of the things I am best known for is my hair. Right now I have a huge red afro so it makes sense, but this has always been true even when I was like every other black girl from L.A. with a "wrap." Besides my big eyes, nothing about my person is commented on more (and I would say the hair has been trumping the eyes for the past year or so). What most people do not know is how the afro came about. It was not some calculated fashion statement or ode to my roots or anything like that. It really started out as an experiment and a little silent rebellion against the law firm life I was living.

During the summer there would sometimes be events that fell on the weekend and, little black girl that I am, when I was invited to a white water rafting trip with my firm, I decided to wear my hair "natural" as opposed to either not going or spending the whole time trying to protect my "press" from getting wet. For generations we have been told that "natural" hair is not "professional" hair, so no one at work had seen me with "big hair', for lack of a better description. Needless to say, not only was I not recognized by most of my colleagues but once reminded (being one of only several black people period, this did not take long) my hair became a major point of intrigue. Why didn't I wear it like this to work? How did I go from the flat straight hair to this curly beehive overnight? Can I touch it? Honestly, I was as intrigued as they were because it never ceases to amaze me how people react to hair, which, if I am not mistaken, is just dead skin cells.

Anyway, I slowly integrated the "natural" look into my wardrobe. Mind you, my wardrobe was also a point of intrigue as I am forever my mother's child and refuse to live without color in my life. Always professional, I was still already pushing the envelope with my steady rotation of yellow, purple, green, and intricate print stilettos. I started off with a more curly version of the natural, where I would take care to wet it daily and use ample product to keep the curls in tact. By the end I was in full afro rebellion, my only saving grace being the headbands I wore to prevent innocent bystanders from being confronted by my "nappiness" right at the nape of my hairline. Once I left the firm, the experiment was over and this afro that I rock, that is definitely a major part of my personal brand, was simply an economic decision. I no longer had expendable income and, therefore, could not afford the $60 to 125 every 2 weeks to have my hair done professionally. I have never been a do it yourself kind of girl and I honestly did not care that much, so afro it is.

"When you step out of the house, always look like you have someplace to be"

I was given this advice over a year ago by "My Diana" George Worrell, DC's resident style expert and Muse's first client. (sidenote: He is Diana Ross because I am Barry Gordy; I started out by being Puffy (which would make him my Mary), but he edited this right away). Since I have been on a whirlwind of self analysis and growth over the past several months, earlier this week I had been seeking his counsel and making sure he "let me have it" since I want to become the "Boss Bitch" that he and Donovon envision me as and telling me how fabulous I am is not going to get me there. Anyway, he found a subtle way to mention this same advice again (really in relation to the fact that I wore jeans to a meeting where I was there to talk business, his business at that (I wore a blazer and heels as well, in my defense)). My rationale was that I had already had several meetings and the deal was done and this was just a final wrap up...and really, I felt like wearing jeans.

I, of course, listened to the advice especially because it was coming from a good place and it was accompanied by the retelling of how me and George met and how I had so much swagger and confidence "way back" then. In the midst of the storm that I believe all visionaries and entrepreneurs encounter, I had lost a bit of my "Museness." It was not completely gone, but it is difficult to feign confidence when you are confronted head on with all of your weaknesses, most of which you previously thought were strengths, after 30 years of "skating" by on your talent, looks, and wit.

Anyway, because God or the universe or whatever is in on this mission to make my vision a reality, I was twice reminded of this little tidbit of advice and I will now be mindful of its importance.

Encounter 1:

On Tuesday I had no outside meetings and I spent most of the day contemplating starting this blog and trying not to freak myself out by the fact that I would actually send it out for people to read and evaluate not only my writing, but my frailty. At 2pm, I was put into the unfortunate situation of having to rush to the bank and be home by 3pm for my bi-weekly session with my Nutritionist. I threw on some jeans, puffed the afro out a bit (or did I, lol) and rushed out. As fate would have it, as soon as I was in "eyeshot" of the teller counter, I could see that the bank president who I know from social circles and is the reason why I am a customer of the Bank of Georgetown was standing there talking to the employees. I had been hoping not to see him during my 7 minute ride to the bank, but no such luck.

Since there was no turning back, I walked in, had a brief conversation and let him know that I would be calling him about an opportunity I am contemplating involving The Lincoln Theatre where, a quick search a few weeks ago revealed, he was a member of the Board. I gave myself some points for this one (see fault #7) as sometimes you have to seize the moment, even if you are sporting a lopsided fro, jeans and a baby T with Pipi Longstocking on the front.

Encounter #2

Everyone who knows me knows that I hate the grocery store and any other store that is not for the exclusive purpose of clothes/accessories shopping. This includes Target (it is almost sacrilegious to "hate Target", but it is what it is). Anyway, my Father-in-Law got in his mind that we "had to" get Ryan a potty chair "today" (Thursday). Trying not to be ungrateful for his offer to purchase it and implement his time tested "method" for getting her to learn to poop in the potty, I said let's go now (lest I have a minute to devise a seemingly innocent reason why this Target trip does not occur). Anyway, the whole 7 minute drive there I was hoping that I would not run into George (who lives across the street from Target and whom I encounter every time I go, which is very rarely) because I was wearing pretty much the same getup as Tuesday except the baby T had some kind of retro 7 Up logo on it. I walk in, make a stop at Pizza Hut, which is the only thing that made the trip worthwhile, sit and eat my pizza and slurpee and walk right into George as I begin my trek through the store to get "this one thing" and get the hell out of here. (Sidenote: I am not that big a fan of Pizza Hut pizza, but the individual size pizzas are to die for...I guess size does matter).

Needless to say, I am still sticking to my Bohemian Chic style (it is who I am--no make-up, natural hair, trend defying style) but I am going to be more careful not to leave the "chic" at home.

Thinking and Fainting

Post Blog
So, today is Day 2 of my public journey and after spending last night reading my first three posts 10x each (I am a little OCD when I write something down) and getting very little sleep out of fear of not waking up in time to attend a welcome ceremony by Obama for President Calderon of Mexico, I finally woke up after several snooze naps.

Making Progress
In keeping with my mission, between writing my last blog and going to sleep last night I decided that I would cease all business development activities and limit attendance at events through the end of the year and just focus on my current clients and the Muse projects I have decided to pursue. This took a big weight off of my shoulders because I have been so focused on making more money that I have felt overwhelmed and unable to concentrate on some of the great ideas I want to pursue (including the one that I hope will connect me with Sheila Johnson). So screw quick money, roll with what I have, and do something wonderful with my clients and believe in my original vision. Progress! (Please make me stick to this...)

Wonderful Development
On March 15th, I made a huge step and hired my first full-time employee, my Creative Director, none other than the amazing Donovon Bradford. He is the other person, besides Hubby, who made me The Muse. He gave Alex his first big exposure in the art world when he ran a wonderful gallery and lounge, Red Door, in Capitol Hill. He was there when the first event I got behind was a total flop (well, not total because it was fab, but with no attendees...you get the point), he took the most amazing pictures of me when I had been running from cameras since I was diagnosed with Grave's Eyes Disease and I instantly wanted him as my bff (and I had never used that term before meeting him...lol).

Anyway, Donovon got Muse business cards the same day as I did when it was just a concept in my mind and he has been my cheerleader, business partner, and witness to all my emotional ups and downs and the inner workings of my "beautiful mind" and for this he deserves a medal, believe me. We have been pursuing different venues to pitch some event and branding ideas to because we know that we can do something new and interesting here in DC. Well, yesterday we dared to ask for what we really wanted which is our own venue...more specifically, Donovon needs his own space and Muse needs a surrogate home to bring our ideas to life (yay, for working on #7).

Donovon was presented with an offer he could not refuse. Because of his amazingness, his cousin/best friend, wants to invest in anything he presents a business plan for. All the stars aligned and Donovon decided that having his own restaurant/lounge was the way to go and I simultaneously thought the same thing (this happens to us a lot) and now we are working on the business plan and I already have additional investors in mind and I am so happy for him and Muse vicariously.

Today
So, God obviously wanted to give me a sign that all this progress and greatness was enough for a little while because I did wake up in time to make the event this morning and everything was going great. Malcolm aka "The Fojo" and I, in true VIP style, got swooped to the front of the line for prime viewing for the ceremony and we were settling in for our 2 hour wait for the event to start. Alls well, taking photos, taking it all in. All of a sudden I feel a little queasy, then light headed then out of it for like 2 seconds. Oh shit, did I faint? After getting out of the crowd and getting a cup of water, I was fine...but we lost our prime viewing spot and I spent the rest of the time trying not to be freaked out by the episode...I think Malcolm was doing the same.

Needless to say, I came home, ate a big plate of spaghetti (thanks Father in Law) and took my butt to sleep. I have been taking it easy all day and trying not to ignore that warning sign and just being happy with my progress to date. Back to work tomorrow.

-The Muse

Go!

Muse 1.0

Over the last year and a half, I have built something quite amazing (already working on fault #5). I started out with the idea of creating an artist agency based here in Washington, DC, that is, I would represent different creatives (painters, writers, stylists, make-up artists, fashion designers, etc.) for a fee of 15% of their earnings. This is still what I want Muse to be, but I quickly learned that 15% of nothing leaves nothing and most of my clients needed to be "branded" before they could earn anything with their craft. Then they needed PR in order to get their branding out to the public before they could earn anything. This led to Muse becoming a branding and marketing/PR firm. This also led to less clients because, for some strange reason, more people are willing to work with you if you are doing tons of work for free as opposed to them paying you for the work that you are doing...go figure.

Muse 2.0
I found that I really liked branding, it went hand and hand with hubby's business which is Art and graphic design, so I was able to offer branding strategy and the execution of that strategy under one roof. I also found that I did not like PR, at least not in the traditional "pitch for your life" sense. Ok, now Muse is a branding firm and strategic promotion was a component, but we are not a PR firm. Problem solved? Not yet.

Muse Redux
After discovering that branding is what most of my clients needed, I was faced with the unfortunate realization that DC did not offer a wealth of opportunities for creatives to make money doing their craft. Fashion, Art, Music, Film, TV, Theatre--all these things were in short supply and, lest you forget, it is 2009 and fear is sucking up all potential possibilities. This drastically altered my journey because now I was faced with the fact that if I planned to stay here and pursue my dream I would have to become an integral part of bringing/creating the "industry" here.

The Muse Vision
After many hours spent on my deck (what I call "deck time"), I received a vision so clear that it had to come from God. Everything in my life up to this point all made perfect sense and was geared toward my fulfillment of this amazing purpose. It was no accident that I was a lawyer, that I lived here in DC, that I started this journey in 2009, that I named my company Muse--I realized that I AM The Muse and that I was put here to inspire creative entrepreneurs and to protect their rights to their own work and to be a crucial part of this amazing Renaissance taking place in DC. Every person that I had met over the last year was somehow connected to helping make my vision a reality and I was determined not to ignore this enormous responsibility that had been placed on my shoulders.

"The Gift, The Spirit, The Work"- Jay-Z
Needless to say, the realization of such a great and meaningful purpose brought me extreme joy and an equal amount of anxiety. The fact that when I let people in on my discovery, they did not think it was crazy (especially because I was being led by the spirit of Zora Neale Hurston whom I knew very little about, except that I loved "Their Eyes Were Watching God" and that people thought she was crazy during her time) only made the vision more clear and more scary (and awesome!). During the time of my vision, I kept myself "out of my head" by writing everything down. My whole "blueprint" was revealed in these writings and I swear it did not come from the LaNora that I know. I read and reread my story, my cast of characters, my projects and accepted the fact that I was made for this.

Once I came down from that amazing high, I began trying to make this world that existed in my head, now on paper, a reality. My journey of 30 years had resulted in me picking up all the pieces along the way that would be needed in the fulfillment of this vision. Like an intricate puzzle, they were all lain on the table but I quickly realized it was my task to put the puzzle together and this task would not be easy. Many of the main pieces were picture side up and it was clear where in the puzzle they belong, but some pieces needed to be turned over (meaning I had to change something about myself, my network, my strategy) to complete the picture that was so clear on the box (my writings).

This leads me to where I am today. Still motivated, still convinced, still hustling and, thank God, still an entrepreneur...but working to turn over, group, and connect these pieces so that my vision becomes a reality. I am happy to report that, for you puzzle enthusiast, the border is complete and I have all the pieces face up and gathered in the general area they belong in the final puzzle. That is, I have identified my task, I have identified my weaknesses and I have assessed my need to conquer these weaknesses, now I am in the midst of devising and executing the strategy that will lead to completion and mounting for display (my launch!).

-The Muse

Get Set

The title of this blog is Entreprehustler because that term (which I am coining) describes who/what I am and is the starting point to becoming a true mogul.

My entrepreneurial journey officially began on January 1, 2009, but several dates prior to that day are significant to fully understand how I discovered my true passion and got the courage needed to pursue it wholeheartedly.

January 2008--Searching for my passion

After 3.5 years of working as a Litigation associate at a BigLaw firm, I officially acknowledged that I did not have a passion for law and, even more earth shattering, I really had no passion at all. All my friends thought this was ironic because I am such a passionate person, but lo, it was true...no passion.

This date is important as well because when I decided to work for a firm, I gave myself "3 to 5" like a jail sentence because I went in knowing that this was not what I wanted to do with my life (although I honestly opened myself up for the possiblity of being convinced otherwise).

This is the time when I admitted to my wonderfully supportive husband that I had to do something different with my life. We decided on March 2010 as the official end of my law firm career and made plans to pay off a large amount of debt in the two years and change left making $200k+.

Although I agreed to stick it out for a little while longer, I immediately began searching for my passion...that one thing I could do that would fulfill both my monetary and spiritual needs.

Needless to say, I mentally checked out at work.

May 2008--Metaphorical slip begins to show

By this time, I was in hot pursuit of true gratification and I was becoming more and more in tune with my creative side. I already had notebooks full of "amazing" ideas dating back as far as I can remember. I watched hubby become an entrepreneur the prior year and I was convinced that that was the only option since, of course, I wanted to be a millionaire. Also, I have always seen myself working for myself and employing my community so if I was to abandon a six figure salary it was going to have to be worthwhile.

My passionate pursuit of my passion, for better or worse, became apparent to an elusive group of onlookers at my job. Instead of pursuing "better" work, i.e., work that would indicate my pursuit of partnership, I searched for document review work that would allow me to reach my billable hour requirements without much commitment to the profession and with the flexibility to work from home. Being able to bill 10 to 14 hours without having to interact with anyone allowed me the freedom to work my "second job" of testing my ability to network and navigate in a world vastly different than any I had experienced before. This includes both the creative world, I became hubby's unofficial art agent, and the entrepreneurial world. I was instantly hooked and constantly pushing myself to step out of my comfort zone.

My journey was kicked into high gear over a very frank lunch I had with my mentor. I knew at this moment that March 2010 was not an option...I could hang on to the end of the year max. She respectfully suggested that I spend more time in the office and pursue more high level work, both of which I let her know that I would give the ol' college try, but I knew that was probably not going to happen seeing as I had found something I never thought I would have...PASSION! Something that drove me to want to wake up, to challenge my weaknesses, to not care that my secure and stable job was on the line.

From that day forth, I was determined to be ready whenever the day came when I would have to step out on faith and really pursue this entrepreneurial dream that had me so high I felt like I was flying. I tried to spend more time in the office, but I physically could not...despite my best efforts. I did not wholeheartedly pursue other assignments because nothing could get more consistent hours than document review and I knew that this was the key to holding on to my salary while I continued to navigate the waters and decide EXACTLY what I wanted to do in this new creative world that I discovered needed me and my talents.

September 26, 2008--Official notice of resignation

This is a day I will never forget, my bravest moment thusfar and the one that made January 1, 2009 my official start date on this entrepreneurial journey. In one of the most interesting conversations I ever had, I learned that everyone loving you coupled with hard work can keep you employed long past the time when it is obvious that this is not what you really want to do and my firm learned that I had found what I really wanted to do and I appreciated their support, belief in me, and willingness to make my transition as easy as possible. I gave my official resignation and they gave me time to wrap up my current assignments and provided the resources for me to start Muse Creative Arts Agency unofficially before I was put into the "eat what you kill" situation that I have been in for the past year and a half.

-The Muse

On Your Mark

I have given myself until the end of the year to:

1) complete a draft of my book, "The Other N Word";
2) officially launch my business Muse Creative Arts Agency; and
3) work with my "Millionaire Muse" Sheila Johnson.

I figured the best way to make sure that this all gets done is to put it out in the universe and create some accountability for myself. Today is May 18th, I now have 7.5 months to overcome my:

1) fear of failure (85% there),
2) tendency to overthink (50% there),
3) desire to help everyone with a creative dream (30% there),
4) excitement about projects that will reap no financial reward (60% there),
5) tendency to undermine my accomplishments because I know my true potential (40% there),
6) tendency to trump my good ideas with other "better" ones before seeing them all the way through (75% there),
7) tendency to "beg for the grunt work" instead of demanding (or at least asking) for what I really want and deserve (25% there).

By putting these things down on (virtual) paper, I am forced to confront them in (virtual) reality instead of only in my head where I am able to rationalize my behavior, decisions, failures, successess and progress toward "mogulhood" in a way that keeps me in my comfort zone and blocks me from the greatness that I know to be my destiny.

The Muse