Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Review Time

Goal Evaluation

So, it is the last day of June, I have officially gotten my swag back and I am ready to face my self-evaluation. Here are the 7 faults I am working on, my original progress and my current evaluation:

1) fear of failure (5/18/10: 85% there)--90%, I will give myself a 5% bump in this category. Failure is not an option and I realize that I got to this point in my life because I had a goal and I took the necessary steps to get there. I realized I wanted to be a lawyer in the 4th grade and spent the following 15 years making that happen without a second thought. If I take that same approach to my current goals, I am sure I will have the same positive results.

I already took the biggest step which was quitting my job and committing to this Millionaire dream. I accomplished the next step of writing down my vision. Now I am trying to stay two steps ahead in terms of charting my course and right on step in terms of following it.

My initial thought was that I could never get to 100% with this goal, but that is not correct. Just because my dreams are bigger, does not make the path to reaching them any different. I never questioned my ability to do everything I said I would do and now that the path to my dreams is a little more precarious, I will not allow myself to let that awareness affect my blind faith. Just as the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, the inverse is also true. Insanity is not recognizing patterns in your life and repeating and perfecting the ones that have shown consistent results.

2) tendency to overthink (5/18/10:50% there), 85% there, this is probably the fault of which I have had the most progress. You will notice that I use the expression "it is what it is" quite often and I really do take that view in life now. In keeping with my definition of insanity, whenever I or someone I know has thought too much about any one thing, 9 times out of 10 we went past our realm of actual knowledge and allowed our subconscious thoughts to fill in the blanks.

My vow to trust my instincts has saved me a lot of wasted time questioning everything. My promise to eliminate stress from my life has taught me to control my thoughts. My increased self-awareness, for better or worse, has allowed me to recognize when my stream of thought has crossed the acceptable threshold.

The saying "trust your first mind" is so on point it is ridiculous. It is not that your initial instincts are ALWAYS right, but they are right most of the time so from an odds point of view it is best to go with it. You can never be right all of the time, but if you constantly question yourself you really mess up your stats.

3) desire to help everyone with a creative dream (5/18/10: 30% there), 50% there, this is a tricky one, for nothing else but the way I phrased it. My desire to help people has not changed, in fact it has probably grown, but I have made progress in terms of acting on that desire.

The more confidence I gain in my ability to sustain myself doing only what I really want to do at any given moment, the less I feel the need to be an integral part of other people's dreams. Don't get me wrong, I am the Muse and I think it is my calling to inspire creatives to realize their genius. I am just realizing that I do this naturally and injecting myself into the picture too much takes the beauty out of it for me. Like with every masterpiece, balance is everything.

4) excitement about projects that will reap no financial reward (5/18/10:60% there), 85% there, I have made quite a bit of progress here. I am learning not to get excited about anything until it is REAL...meaning "el cheque is bueno", as George would say.

5) tendency to undermine my accomplishments because I know my true potential (5/18/10:40% there), 50% there, my progress here is limited only because I have not really had an opportunity to test this fault. I give myself some credit because although I have not moved mountains, I am very proud of myself. Doing less is an accomplishment for me. I am taking the time to enjoy watching my daughter grow up, experiencing my baby develop inside of me, and focusing on a few projects and not jumping on every opportunity that presents itself.

6) tendency to trump my good ideas with other "better" ones before seeing them all the way through (5/18/10:75% there), 75% there, I would say that there is no movement on this front. I have changed courses a few times and I truly believe it was for the better. Time will tell if this assessment is true. The important thing is that I have not given up on my goals stated at the beginning of this process and I fully intend to see them all the way through.

7) tendency to "beg for the grunt work" instead of demanding (or at least asking) for what I really want and deserve (5/18/10: 25% there). 40% there, I have found myself "begging for the grunt work" without my conscious knowledge, but once I realized that that was what I was doing I pulled back from the situation. True progress is recognizing that I can get what I want if I ask for it (or at least save myself from grunt work), I am not completely there yet but I am happy with my progress.

Summary

All in all, I think I am doing pretty well so far. I have exactly 1 month and 7 days left in my 30th year of life and looking back I would have to say that my first 30 years have been awesome. I am proud to say that I have always "done me"; I am the least judgmental person that I know; I have loved hard and cried hard; I have learned not only from my mistakes but from the mistakes of others; I have not placed myself above any other human being; I try to do the right thing all the time; and I fight my negative tendencies. I truly look forward to the next 30 years.

I went from the projects of South Central Los Angeles to the halls of the most elite universities in the country. From a world whose only significant characters were related to me to one in which I interact daily with people from every walk of life. From a career path with extreme stability to one with limitless freedom. From an existence that required no self-analysis to one in which finding myself is the key to that existence. From a lifestyle built on conformity to one reflecting true originality. From a mind filled with imaginable dreams to one that ventures beyond imagine.

If I was able to accomplish all of this with the limited knowledge I have attained thusfar, the sky is truly the limit as my wisdom increases. I will write my book, I will work with Sheila Johnson, and I will realize my Muse vision...these things I know, it is the accomplishments I cannot forsee that keeps me flexing my hustle muscles so that I am ready when they come. Wish me luck!

-The Muse

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Jesus take the wheel

This was a really good week for me. I am definitely one of those people with "weather-dependent personality disorder" and we had beautiful sunny DC weather to bring in the official start of summer.

My more laid-back approach to life and business has manifested into something really great. It seems that the seeds that I have already planted are getting the chance to grow since I stopped overwatering and planting too many new seeds in the same garden.

Connecting/Reconnecting with People who God Brought Into My Life

A major "Muse" gift I have is recognizing and attracting artistically/creatively/spiritually gifted people. I have learned to trust my instinct because it never steers me wrong. Case in point, my husband Alex who I knew that I would be with for the rest of my life the moment I saw him and who is the most artistic, creative and spiritually gifted person I know or know of. Being with an artist for the past 11 years has really prepared me for the unique experience of working with true artists...believe me, it is not an easy task.



Sheldon Scott

Just yesterday I got an email from Sheldon saying that he is ready to get going on his wonderful project that I am so excited to be a part of. Sheldon is definitely someone who God sent me and I was smart enough to recognize it right away. Some people just have a light that is hard to ignore and I pride myself in my ability to blindly go toward the light without question. I believe I met Sheldon at his building since it is where George lives and, therefore, my second home. I was instantly attracted to his style and swagger and knew that he was special. My first real encounter with him, besides stopping him to mention how fabulous he looked, was when George took me to have dinner at Marvin. At this point I did not know that he was an Artist, but I knew that he fit into my Muse vision somehow.

We saw eachother all the time and one time he mentioned that we should get together to talk about possibly working together. I was excited about this prospect because without even knowing what he did, I already knew that we would be working together. When we finally had an official meeting, my instincts (once again) proved superior...lol. Sheldon is a "Storyteller" and actor with an amazing life story and an undeniable spiritual connection to Marvin Gaye. Our project involves the preservation and presentation of Marvin Gaye memorabilia and the story behind that effort. I am really excited about this journey that we are embarking upon and I believe that something truly special is going to come out of it.

Kymone Freeman

Earlier this week I received a message from Kymone reminding me of his press conference re: "Saving Black Radio" taking place tomorrow at Busboys and Poets. He also reminded me of the date of the reading of his 3rd play, "God is on the Devil's Payroll" which will be part of DC's first Black Theatre Festival running from August 1st-8th. I am excited to be part of helping him promote the play and further solidifying himself as a voice in theatre and media.

Bernard Demczuk

So my nutritionist Tricia McCauley is an avid gardener and one of my Muse advisory board members, Bernard Demczuk, has an amazing garden oasis on the Eastern Shore where he runs a guest gardener program. I had mentioned this to Tricia a few months back and now that she has graduated from her Master's program, she decided to reach out to him to see about being part of the program. Luck would have it that Bernard called me to get her number and we were able to talk a bit about a project he wanted me to help with. He has a vision for what he will call "The Choptank School" which will be a program that he administers through the schools that surround the Choptank River and brings kids in to learn about gardening and the history of the surrounding towns in Talbot County which were founded by ex-slaves and free blacks.

Really BIG opportunity for Muse

On Thursday I received a call from George about a possible opportunity to help re-brand/market a premiere night club in DC. Today I had a really great meeting to talk more about it and I am presenting my official proposal tomorrow, so I am crossing my fingers since this is the type of opportunity that would help put Muse on the map.

Thinking through my book

The Agent Stage

Yesterday I had a really great lunch with my girl Aimee Agresti who is a writer in the advanced stages of getting her book published. It was very encouraging and helped me build my confidence as I enter into this writing process. She also made me realize that I actually had a process. This realization made me think that I need to be more deliberate and organized about that process if I want to make it to my end of year goal.

The Newly Published Stage

My girl Helena Andrews's book, Bitch is the New Black, hit bookstores on June 1st and she will be having a big DC launch next Tuesday. She has received great reviews, amazing press and she already sold the rights to have her book adapted into a movie (and she will be writing the screenplay...Go girl!). It has been very encouraging to see her journey thusfar and how she has devoted her life to her book (her baby) and all the greatness that has and will come from it.

The Promotion Stage

My friend Harold Fisher's book, Two Weeks Until the Rest of My Life, has been out for awhile now and he has been on a whirlwind of promotion ever since. I had an opportunity to speak with him earlier today about his writing process and get his initial reactions to my book concept. This was a very enlightening conversation and lets me know that I am on the right track in terms of my process. I am doing a lot of "free writing" in order to get all my ideas out so that I can present them as a coherent theory. He expressed to me that because my book is presenting a new idea it is imperative that I am very clear and very aware of my audience. This is my main task and I am getting there on paper, though sometimes less so in words. Definitely a work in progress, but I am confident that the end result will be something great

The Iconic Writer/Theorist Stage

Because The Tipping Point is the book that I believe The Other N Word most closely resembles in terms of theory and the radical rethinking of basic concepts, I have been breaking it down to its simplest form in my effort to organize my thoughts in much the same way as Gladwell was able to organize his. This has made me fall in love with his book even more and, simultaneously, understand the work that needs to be done to complete my book successfully.

The Interest Stage

So, Sheldon had a performance on Thursday and afterwards he was approached by a Literary Agent who was interested in his story. This, of course, did not surprise me since, as I mentioned earlier, he really does have an amazing story and he is a gifted Storyteller. This news was also very inspiring because it let me know that the more you put yourself out there, the more people will recognize you.

The Beginning Stage

This leads to where I am. Having all of these great encounters this week has really been eye-opening and, I believe, the universe's way of pushing me forward. I am more encouraged than ever to get my full outline completed by July 15th and then begin tackling each Chapter of my "masterpiece". Needless to say, with all that is going on with my clients, my business, and my personal life I will be spending some time this weekend putting together a schedule for myself for July at the least, but hopefully a rough schedule for the rest of the year. If the weeks to come are anywhere as delightful as this week has been, I am in for a great ride and I look forward to bringing you all along.

-The Muse

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Finding My Artist

Focusing

Writing this blog has been one of the best things I could have done for my personal sanity. Prior to committing to limit my business development my brain was always moving a million miles per hour, trying to connect with everyone and just generally doing too much. I have since slowed down and gone underground a bit which has made it much easier to evaluate how I unconsciously fall into some of the bad habits/practices that prompted me to write this blog in the first place.

Slow and Steady Wins the Race: Client/Project Progress

Since my last post business has progressed nicely. George, among other wonderful things, has officially inked a deal for his own weekly segment on WHUR: Style and Elegance with Go to Guy George Worrell. My newest clients Mirror Image Fitness and Wellness "Fitness Twins" had their first radio appearance and their new brand image is set to launch July 1st. I had a great day of shooting on a small documentary project that I am associate producing (my first production credit!). Donovon and I have made progress on a wonderful business venture. My client Jamon Hicks aka "The next Obama" was named one of the Top 40 Lawyers under 40 by the National Bar Association. My hubby and Artistic Director, R. Alexander Clark, has finished his first Drupal* website. And, I have kept my eye on what all my other DC entreprehustlers and "rising stars" have been up to and injected my Muse spirit and resources in any way that I could.

*sidenote: Alex tells me that this is the next "big thing" in website development. The learning curve is steep and the number of developers actually doing it is small. He has been learning it over the last several months and explaining to me in "mind numbing", and dare I say "tune out-able" detail, the value and potential of such an undertaking.

Nothing to "Take the Edge Off"*: Personal Progress

So, now that I have passed the 3 month mark and my belly is in full bloom, it is safe for me to reveal that this end of the year goal is significant in another important way: we are expecting our second child in December!

For those who were witness to my first year as an entrepreneur, you know that I found out that I was pregnant with Ryan Alexis, my first child, several weeks after I resigned from the firm. God knew what he was doing because I am sure that I would have made different decisions, i.e., not becoming an entrepreneur, had I found this information out sooner. Something that may be seen as a hindrance to my plans ended up being the best motivator for "getting it done." Having my growing baby with me every step of the way gave me the feeling that I was not alone and gave me an even greater sense of purpose.

It has been exhilirating to experience motherhood and owning my own business simultaneously, but it also makes it imperative that I put everything in perspective and make sure that I am approaching both tasks in a realistic and well-thought out way. So, in addition to the goals and realizations I have made about Muse and my entrepreneurial journey, I have been making a lot of progress in my personal life...all of this without anything to "take the edge off."

So I have been proud of myself for the things that I have accomplished in my personal journey including getting a Nutritionist, keeping in mind that food, water and sleep are essential to life (seems obvious, but as an entrepreneur sometimes you zone out and forget these most basic things), taking naps and most recently taking a little vacation to Atlanta where I got some much needed rest and made some serious progress on my book.

*as my friend Chandra's mom would say...lol.

"I'm a Writer"--Carrie Bradshaw (in almost every episode of SATC...lol)

So, I have officially begun the process of writing "The Other N Word" and I have to say that it is a truly terrifying undertaking. Over the past six months or so, I have been taking notes, writing down or recording my thoughts, etc. but once I started to actually write full paragraphs I realized that I have a lot to say and my brain has been organizing this book without my knowledge. This is always true when I write, which is why whenever I read something that I have written it always seems like someone else wrote it. I am not one of those draft and redrafters, I simply outline, think about it every minute and when it is time to go, it somehow comes out the right way the first time. My theory is that I draft and redraft in my head.

Anyway, because my book is part personal narrative and part "self-help", the way that I organize it will be very important. To avoid the delay that thinking this all the way through in advance would cause, I began writing under mini topic headings and got a suprising amount written in a short period of time.

After my first full day of writing, I experienced a bit of anxiety because although I knew that I had a great idea, seeing it come to life and realizing that I am particularly purposed to write this felt a bit overwhelming. It is like my version of "The Tipping Point" (could I put the bar any higher!), that is, uncovering a phenomenon that "accidently" occurs and being able to explain it in such a way that those who heed its lessons can make it happen on purpose. Because "The Tipping Point" changed my life so profoundly and has gone on to be one of the best reviewed books and whose theories have transformed the lives of so many entrepreneurs, the thought that my book would have even close to that kind of impact is daunting.

Needless to say, I have a lot of work to do. And now that I have dared to put myself anywhere near Malcolm Gladwell in a public forum, I will definitely need to do some breathing exercises and then "get my Puffy on" and make it happen.

-The Muse