Evaluation Time

Checking in with Muse v Fear

1) LACK OF CONFIDENCE 1 point for me

2) FAILURE TO ACT tied

3) FEAR OF GOING AFTER MY OWN DREAMS 1 point for me

4) FEAR OF BEING ACCOUNTABLE 1 point for me

5) DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR 1 point for me

6) LACK OF COMMITMENT 1 point for me

7) FEAR OF GREATNESS 1 point for Fear

All in all, I am kicking butt. I have very little anxiety about my ability to write the book that I see in my head. I am not pushing myself too hard because I am keeping my kids as my priority right now. I am continuing to post blogs and keep it honest in my writing. By writing my own story, there are so many characters whose feelings I have to consider. It is teaching me how to write in a way that is both honest and considerate. I am enjoying the challenge.

Checking in with The Other N Word

Going back down memory lane is exhausting work. I have to edit myself when I write because this book is not my life story, if it is not relevant to teaching me the game of networking it should not go in. On the flip side, stories are injected in that I did not forsee being part of the book.

My goal is to draft my Intro, Chapter 1 and Chapter 6. I think these three things set up the premise for the book and are diverse enough to give a good impression of the rest of the book. I really like my intro so far. Framing my story has been like framing a piece of art. I have to put the reader in the mindset that I'd like them to be in. Choosing my words carefully and trusting my voice have been essential tools. I have parts of all 3 chapters done, I just really want to have a whole chapter done. This is my goal today. Chapter 1 is about my early childhood and Chapter 6 is about my law firm career. I straddle between the two depending on what I am in the mood to deal with. I think Chapter 6 might get written faster, though I am pretty close to being done with Chapter 1. A lot of framing of a lot of memories...can be slow work.

The law firm stuff is fresh in my mind and the chapter is entitled "The Knowledge Without the Game". At this point in my journey, I was beginning to notice a lot of things that I had missed before. I was still gaining the knowledge, but it took me becoming an entrepreneur to learn the game. The BigLaw partnership model makes an associate's job much like being an entrepreneur. You do not have a boss in the traditional sense, you still compete for the best work, and its about who you know as much as it is what you know. Interacting in the firm world with the knowledge of how to act, dress, be...showed me how understanding why I must (or think I must) do these things is more valuable.

I'm about to break for lunch and get back to writing soon after. Wish me luck on finishing up Chapter 6.